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6 Incorrect the happiest couples avoiding before: therapist

In relationships, no action is too small. Any little changes you do things.

In the pair of the therapist with more than 30 years of experience, I saw the partners repeat many of the same mistakes, often without knowing. Typically, these unnecessary models started early in the Relationship. I am

But don’t worry if you do some mistakes now. Simple changes, at any time, can go to a long way to turn things.

Here are six common trends to avoid a relationship, especially in the first years:

1. Winging it

Most people are. We do what it was Modeled to the growing of usor maybe the opposite.

While we educate ourselves as professionals, most of us don’t understand we need to learn how to be a good partner: to deal with efficient conflict, to become a good Leaderto repair, and to continually invest in stay connected.

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I will invite you to see yourself as partners and proactive passage and spend time proatives from items, books, and even cerapy.

2. Holding your partner responsible for your happiness and well-being

A Relatedness fulfilledwhere the crisis love begins when each person understands that their happiness and achievement belongs to their hands, not their partner. This is precisely because “relationship with yourself” is placed as the first pillar in my book “A soul marriage: heal your relationship with responsibility, growth, and the purpose,“And as the basis for building the long-lasted love.

When you invest in yourself, you get to live more authentically and happy. Knowing yourself becomes the door to deal with yourself with kindness, challenging to grow, and as to take responsibility for your welfare.

3. Travel the conflict as a bad sign

One of the most wicked the worst the young couples make the caps from belief that a good relationship must be smooth browsing, with minimum combat or disconnection. I am The wrong often hold them to come to the counseling before you fear the tension means something worse than really.

But a living relationship, breathing ou marriage means really disconnecting and recognizing many times. This is how we build and grow up. This is what I often say when the couples Enter therapy:

“I’m happy with here. Your friction is not a bad sign. It means you are to grind your conflict and nearer with normalize your challenges and embrace the problems that You are rather than looking for a quick relief or avoiding. ”

4. Try to change your partner

When something on your partner gets under your skin, natural inclination is to try to change.

Yes it is important to address the issues that bother you. But more often than, there is too focus on what’s wrong. When you feel the inclination of criticizing or change your partner, ask:

  • “Can I use this moment to become more patient, secured with myself, tolerant, or amazing unconditionally?”
  • “Is there growth for me here?”
  • “I’m doing something similar?”
  • “Wait perfection?”
  • “Are you quite appreciated with all my partner is and give?”

5 loses priority

In the beginning, it’s easy to appreciate our partners. But I make sure our mate feels like the other most important person in our life must be a continued priority.

Most common threat I see that priority is when a couple becomes a family with children. I am In-law, work, or too concern about what others think of the expense of needs or feelings of your partner may also interfere.

Young couples should be at the look out for the simple ways to fight for their relationship and make their partner you feel dear. This could mean to have a date night and a raising night, the ancient to entertain and the latter to talk about what you feel well or not well in the relationship.

6. Thinking small

It is important to take care of ourselves, invest in Our own happinessand nurt in our immediate circle and community. At the same time, to captiveize all that a relationship can come to our lives, we need larger thinks.

Looking for ways you – individually and as a world-can make the best world adds a force size and compliance that does not need your bond.

You don’t feel you have to save the world in a day. You can start small, as volunteers, wearing a meal to someone who is sick, or welcomes guests in your house. The idea is to feed, as a couple, parts of you who love to give, in always expanding ways.

I found that when my husband and I put our eneriies together to the love of others, the Spirit of smazon generosity over our differences and takes more than in chovers.

Rachel glik, Edd, It is a professional advisor with more than 30 years as an individual couples and terapation. She learned and eapeste for organizations as: Ypo, the Kabcah Center isVillage, Missouriery’s University of Rachel is also the author of “Marriage year: heal your relationship with responsibility, priority, and the purpose.”

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2025-02-08 17:45:00

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